"We have to enjoy today as we might die tomorrow." This was the favorite phrase of my guide who worked for me when I visited Vietnam last year. According to him, all his friends who are married say that the matrimonial life is similar to life in prison. No wonder he is still bachelor at the age of 38.

In Vietnam, there is an expression, "Nhat von hi Troi", which means "Wife comes first, then God." Certainly the Vietnamese women are tough. I have seen a husband who was scolded by his wife in public, and women shopkeepers who were fighting against each other in order to get tourists. They are surely tough, but hard workers. In the market place, in the street, and in shops, it is women who are working. Those who are taking a nap in the shade of a tree or gossiping in the street are men. Under such circumstances, I was convinced that it was a matter of course that women take initiatives.

In reality, however, the situation seems to be a bit difference from what I have seen. In Vietnam, a woman is not admitted as a good wife if she does not work hard at home. So, she should work very hard both at home and out of home. My Vietnamese teacher who lives in Ho Chi Minh City tells me that it is the man who has the right of decision at home. If so, Japanese women seem to have more power than Vietnamese women.

Until a few years ago, it was the policy of the government to limit the birthrate: "In maximum, two children for a couple." If government employees violate it, they should be punished with salary reduction or demotion. In the case of farmers, they had to pay penalty. Even now delivery for the third child costs quite much. According to official data, one out of three women who have possibility of pregnancy has experienced abortion. Women have no initiative in contraception, and they are compelled to repeat it.

I am a foster parent of a 6-year old girl who is living in Ho Chi Minh City. Her father died, and her mother is supporting the poor family working as a peddler. The girl was expected to go to public school with my support, but she could not join it. Her mother has a boy friend without any intention to work drinking all the time. Naturally they became poorer. So the money that I sent for the girl was spent to support the family's life. Eventually my fostered, child was able to go to a free class run by a NGO. The staff reported me that she looked so happy to attend that class. Yet, I hope that she can join a public school some day. And I earnestly wish that she would not be driven to a situation to earn money by prostitution.

Rapid economic growth in Vietnam has widened the gap between the poor and the rich, and brought additional hardship to the poor. On the other hand, women brought up by rich parents have high educational background, and try to advance into the business field. Yet, their status quo is unstable. But I have some expectation that vigorousness of Vietnamese women would work to turn their society to a better direction.

"An com Tau, o nha Tay, lay vo Nhat," or "To eat Chinese dishes, to live in a western house, and to get married to a Japanese woman." They say this is a dream of Vietnamese men. They seem to have an illusion that Japanese women are patient, honest and obedient. Is it better to keep it secret that they enjoy eating lunch at expensive restaurants while husbands are eating at cheap restaurants? And also a fact that there are many wives who are thinking of divorce when they get half of the pension of their husbands?